Remember When I Said [Chapter 4]

The time is passing so fast, I don’t even realize it. When I concluded my message on Wednesday, I told the girls I had a gift for each of them. You know, that silly little book of mine, Faith, Fat & Other F-Words Now I know what you’re thinking….”But Annisa, there is no profanity allowed in the facility.” My rationale, as long as I don’t read the book out loud, I’m ok 😉 The response from the girls was amazing. It’s in this moment, clarity and purpose collide. I’ve been so distraught as to where to position my book. Literary Agents and Publishers have turned me down; either too churchy or not churchy enough (must be the f-words). I have had numerous conversations with ‘church people’ who have been taken aback by the language. I’ve mumbled more than once, that I didn’t write it for church people. I wrote it for broken women who need hope, healing, and comfort in who they are in God’s eyes. Now. Today. Not their past. As I sit beside the girls one at a time, to sign their book, a cosmic collision shows me who the book is written for….them, us, me and possibly you. There are no overly-churchy words and honestly, not that many f-words. It is raw and gritty and transparent , guts laid open. Some find comfort in it, some have made it a target. Wherever you are, truth be told, you will find yourself somewhere. If you’re honest and allow yourself to experience all the emotions, and embrace their necessity. Just like in Inside Out; there’s no real joy until you experience some sadness and fear. (I still love Joy’s blue hair by the way)

I really hate for this day to end. What started out as a hot-mess-of-me evolved into a room-temperature-girl-with-a-passion-and-a-purpose. Not a head held high, victory march, kind of revelation, but a warmness and comfort in knowing that I’m on the right track. We plan to have a pretty casual evening, back at camp. We will not be going to GBC the next day, and while it makes me a little sad, I know what fantastic surprises will arise with the morning!

Thankfully, we started out the new day with a pretty easy pace. The team plans to divide and conquer this day; one team going for food and the other group going shopping for a party. It’s pretty easy to figure out which group I’m in! We head into the ‘big town’ for our shopping adventure. The closest ‘mall’ is 2 hours away, but we’re caffeinated and ready to ride! Our first stop is Hobby Lobby to get party supplies. All out PARTY supplies. We plan to throw the girls a surprise baby shower tomorrow, complete with decorations and glittery-goodness. The three of us let loose in here is nothing short of a Three-Stooges skit. We are wandering aimlessly and planless-ly. Once we settle on a theme and colors, we start looking for the items needed for glittery-goodness.  Next on our agenda is buying pj’s and clothes for the kiddos, thankfully that was just a walk next door.

Again, here’s three girls without a plan except to bless these mamas like crazy! Once we divide the list and get to work, we have ooh’d and ah’d and come up with a cartfull, but still missing a few things. Looks like ‘one more stop’. And that’s when I see it….. A Cosmoprof Beauty Supply store. TeeHee, I have an idea…. (and that’s usually dangerous) I beg for a 5 minute detour and thankfully they obliged. Once we made two more stops, diapers and more clothes, lunch about 1/2 way back home, and then ONE more, “one more stop”.

Once we connected with the other group, the day kicked into overdrive! So many people generously gave of themselves so that each of the mama’s would have a new diaper bag and outfits and diapers and a bag full of love from far and wide. We developed a few of the pictures we had taken so that we could make picture frames. We have decorations to organize, glitter to fling, the kitchen is buzzing with excitement, and me…I am in my little room with a garbage bag on my head making my hair blue. I told you I loved Joy’s blue hair!! The girls are gonna flip tomorrow. As I’m walking back to the main lodge, to help the others, its starting to snow. It is truly beautiful and peaceful here. Even wearing a garbage bag on my head!

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