Please pardon my normal pleasantries and nice-nice for just a few moments, so that I may rant about… public bathrooms!
As if I’m not already aware of my fat arse, who in the fook designs public bathrooms?!? It has to be a man! My apologies boys, but it’s stupid!!
How does a big girl walk in a stall, turn around and close the door?!? You don’t!! You sidesaddle the MotherTrucking toilet and swing the door shut with your purse. And pray that you don’t lose a lipgloss from your purse into the toilet.
And if that isn’t bad enough…
Some asshat decides to put all the “receptacles” on one side, nearest to… you guessed it, my fat arse!! Now come on, I know you men rarely sit down in one of those things, but seriously? How am I expected to maneuver my left arm… at all?!??
And don’t even get me started about the auto-on sinks that never work and you look like some idiot Kung-fu reject trying to find the happy place for the sensor.
And on that note, I shall bid you adieu for thus endeth my rant about the loo!